Hey friend,
If you’ve ever had one of those moments where you snapped…
and then five minutes later you’re like, “Yeah… that wasn’t my best work.”
Same.
Episode 269 of the Young Dad Podcast is a real one.
This week I sat down with Jenny Hornby, a Licensed Professional Counselor out of Virginia, children’s book author, and an expert in EMDR + play therapy. She’s been walking with families for 15+ years, helping kids (and parents) navigate big emotions and rebuild connection at home.
And honestly, this conversation felt like a parenting toolbelt refill.
🎧 Listen on Spotify:
📺 Watch on YouTube:
📄 Episode Activity Guide:
Young Dad Podcast – Episode 269 Activity Guide
86.2KB ∙ PDF file
What this episode is really about
Not “gentle parenting” that turns your kid into the CEO of the house.
Not “strict parenting” that turns your home into a pressure cooker.
This is about connection over perfection, and what to do when things get messy (because they will).
Jenny put words to something a lot of us live:
Rupture and repair.
Kids lose it. We lose it. The moment blows up.
That’s the rupture.
The real question is: Do we know how to come back and repair?
Not with a lecture.
Not with “you made me do this.”
But with curiosity and compassion.
The line that stuck with me
Jenny said if she notices herself wanting to blame or defend, that’s her sign she’s not coming from a helpful place yet.
So her “litmus test” is simple:
Am I being curious and compassionate?
If not… pause. Get regulated. Then re-enter the conversation.
That’s grown-man parenting.
Beginner mind (or what toddlers can teach us)
We talked about how toddlers fall 70 times while learning to walk and they still get up like, “Alright, let’s run it again.”
Jenny calls it “toddlering.”
And it’s a reminder that parenting is like that too.
You’ve never parented this age before. You’re learning in real time.
There’s freedom in saying:
“I’m new to this, and I’m learning.”
Dads and stepping in without blowing things up
We got into a topic I know a lot of dads feel:
When things are getting out of control, dads often notice the line got crossed… but stepping in can turn into a power struggle fast if you don’t have a plan.
Jenny’s advice was solid:
Talk with your partner ahead of time about what support looks like.
Sometimes it’s stepping in.
Sometimes it’s just presence.
Sometimes it’s a hand on the back and: “You good? What do you need right now?”
And we also talked about something that matters a lot with kids who have big feelings:
Co-regulation beats isolation
Sending a kid to their room to “calm down” sounds good… until you realize most kids can’t actually calm themselves down alone.
Jenny shared a practical approach I loved:
One parent can sit in the doorway (no lecture, no fixing), just a steady presence.
“I’m here.”
That’s how kids learn to regulate. They borrow your calm until they can build their own.
Let them fall a little
Another big theme: kids need room to fail.
Scraped knees. Bad choices. Small consequences. Natural feedback from life.
Not because we don’t care.
Because we’re raising future adults, not future toddlers.
Dad Zone highlights
Because we had to keep it fun:
Pineapple on pizza? Jenny said yes (I’ll pray for her)
Dinner party: Jennifer Lopez, Bobby Brown, and her grandpa (that table would be a movie)
Guilty pleasure food: apple fritters
Advice for young parents: Go outside with your kids and leave your phone in the house.
That last one is simple… and it hits.
The takeaway
You don’t have to be perfect.
But you do have to be willing to:
pause
repair
show up again
and lead your home with calm authority, not chaos
If you’ve been in a season of short patience, loud emotions, or power struggles… this episode will help.
Talk soon,
Jey
P.S. Jenny’s book and resources are at MissJennyBooks.com (book: Made for This, plus activity sheets + tools for families). If you’ve got a kid with big feelings, it’s worth checking out.